Here's some tips to help you settle in

Moving into halls or a new flat in January can be nerve-wracking. The people you're moving in with might already have inside jokes and a thriving group chat, but that doesn't mean you can't become a part of it all. It can just take a bit of effort and time.

Find peace in the awkward times

Even if your flatmates are super friendly, you might still feel a bit unsure of where you fit at first. Don't be disheartened if you don't click instantly, this doesn't mean you're not fitting in. Some groups just take a while to open up.

It takes time to get to know people and figure out how best to live together, so remember that it isn't a sign of things going badly, it's just a sign that you're new. Take it step by step. 

Start with low-pressure small talk

You don't have to share life stories to start becoming close, try simple openers that make conversation easy, like:

• "Any tips on where to shop around here?"
• "I'm just unpacking, is there a spare shelf in the kitchen for my pots and pans?"
• "Have you got any nice plans tonight?" 
• "How have you found halls so far?"

Try questions that show that you're considerate and give your flatmates something easy to answer, the conversation might naturally flow from there. It's good to be curious. 

Take advantage of the little moments

Instead of waiting for all of your flatmates to get together, the little moments are the times when you can really connect with people. Be proactive and try: 

• Join someone in the kitchen while they cook
• Ask if anyone fancies a quick coffee run
• Offer to do something simple together like watching an episode of a TV show or popping to the shop

Learn the rhythm of the flat

Each flat is different. Some flats are really social and others like to keep things low-key. In the first few weeks, pay attention to things like when the shared spaces get busy, how people communicate and unspoken rules like cleaning and guests. Or go ahead and ask your flatmates about the shared rules and routines.

Once you've clocked the routine, it's easier to join in without feeling like you have disrupted anything. 

Have a life outside of the flat

Don't limit your social options to one space. You can build lots of other links with people on your course, friends you make at a society and through Residential Life events. So if you feel like your flatmates aren't 'your group', you can feel belonging elsewhere and avoid isolation. 

You're allowed to set boundaries too

Being new doesn't mean you have to say yes to everything. If the flat is very social or noisy and that's not your vibe, it's alright to keep your space. You can still be friendly and set boundaries: 

• "I'm up early tomorrow so I'm going to have a quiet one tonight." 
• "I don't want to drink tonight but I'm happy to hang out."
• "I'm going to recharge in my room for a bit, catch you later."

You don't have to act like a different person to fit in, be yourself and find your own comfort in the flat. 

If it genuinely isn't clicking

Don't just sit with it and accept it. There's lots of support and resources to help: 

• Reach out to the Residential Welfare Team
• Speak to your accommodation Reception Team
• Contact Advice and Counselling for wellbeing support

Not every flat becomes a friendship group. You can still have a good year and find your people elsewhere. 

Remember that these things don't happen overnight, give it time and if you're every unsure where to start, begin with the simplest thing: a hello, a question or a cuppa.